Blog Post

6 Tips on How to be A Supportive Friend

Zanthia Berkelmann • October 28, 2020
Nowadays, as our lives grow increasingly task-oriented, and technology creeps into every facet of our existence, it seems like we could all use a reminder of how to be a friend. Those of us who came of age in the 1980s and 1990s may remember extended conversations, both on the phone and in person, with people we cared about. 

Today, the opportunity to connect is still there… but more and more our attention is divided and we're distracted by technology. Where do you go when you need a friend? Facebook can sometime seem like drowning in a sea of smiling faces but where you can't really reach a human to have their undivided support and attention. 

Texting is often too brief, and confusing. There are also the spontaneity and time lapse factors that makes texting and PMs frustrating as we try and fail, to grasp the undivided attention of other humans.

The awareness of mental illness, including depression and anxiety, has grown in recent years. More people are "out" with their personal problems, such as relationship challenges, inability to cope with stress, trouble managing emotions and other common issues that we all face.

So considering all of these things… that tech communication is counterproductive, everyone is busy and distracted, and mental illness is on the rise despite increasing access to help… how can we work on being a better friend to those around us?

When a friend comes to you wanting to emote, express, and release their hurt, what can you offer in the way of support?

Below, find 6 simple yet soul-satisfyingly meaningful gifts to offer a friend in their time of need.

Listening ears and an open heart. What do you do when a friend needs, not wants, but NEEDS to talk? One way we can really give to those we care about is to simply put a halt to all distractions. Make eye contact. Observe their body language. Listen to their words, and really hear what they're saying. You don't have to judge, troubleshoot, or problem solve on the fly for them, unless that's what they specifically ask you to do. Offering the simple gift of listening and observing with all of your senses is often just what a friend may be searching for.


Empathy. What is empathy? It is taking a moment to step into another person's proverbial shoes, and really try to imagine what it is they may be experiencing and feeling. It helps if you have already gone through the same challenge that they're currently facing. But if not, just take a moment to try and visualize their situation. What thoughts would you have? How might you react emotionally? If your friend tends to be either more emotional or less emotional than you, but you want to try and connect with how they feel, another way to do it is to flash back to something that may have happened to you that produced the same reaction that they're having now. That's a good way to emotionally connect even if you know that their situation would not affect you in quite the same way.


Validation. With more and more people caught up in their own personal involvements these days, it can be difficult to have your reality acknowledged. But this is what validation is all about, and many of us are running around truly suffering from lack of it. What is validation? It's as though someone is saying YES, I see YOU. YOU are really here. YOUR situation is real. YOUR emotions are real. YOU have value and YOU are worth thinking about, talking to, sharing and just being with. 


Advice. This may really depend on the individual situation and what your friend needs at the moment. Some people seek out support when they're specifically wanting validation of their feelings, and to be heard. They may really not need advice at all. But at other times, or with different friends, advice might just be what the doctor ordered. You'll have to feel out the situation and get a sense of whether your well-meaning advice will be appreciated and well received. But even if it isn't, you can advise in the form of sharing your own stories. If you have already faced and persevered through whatever this person is going through, you can offer up your own story, for said friend to take or leave the kernel of wisdom that you impart.


Encouragement. A friend who's feeling in need of support would certainly warm to some encouragement. This is a very simple but meaningful thing that you can give while showing empathy and concern for another's troubles. Positive statements such as "You can do it," "You'll get through this," "You're a fighter," and other supportive words will really go far to help a friend feel empowered. But if you're not a wordy type, you can also use nonverbal such as a smile, kind hug, expressive eye contact, or a pat on the shoulder to convey your support. 

Perspective. Sometimes a friend will come to you with a problem because they feel like they're stuck in a loop, or caught in a limiting mindset. The same, negative message keeps playing in their head. Maybe they're being too hard on themselves, or maybe they're laying blame on someone else. The truth is that your friend has a problem that needs solving, and they've come to you because they know they need help. So perhaps the breakthrough that they really need is a different point of view. 

If more people just freely give each other what they need, when they need it, the world would be a much more nurturing and peaceful place. 

Other wonderful gifts you can offer to a friend in need include understanding, commiseration, cooperation. Can you team up to problem-solve together? Offer an extra pair of hands to lift a heavy load? What about just showing up for them with a good attitude and willingness to help in whatever way possible?

It isn't so difficult to help someone turn things around for themselves, and feel good.

How will you support a friend today?

By Zanthia Berkelmann April 19, 2023
Electronic devices and electrical cables are surrounded by electromagnetic fields, sometimes known as EMFs. Although they are required for these gadgets to function, they may also be dangerous to human health. Different physical and mental health problems might result from EMF exposure. These might include depressive symptoms, headaches, exhaustion, light-headedness, memory loss, and concentration issues. EMFs may also increase the chance of developing cancer, reproductive disorders, and neurological impairments, according to some study. EMFs' cellular impacts on the body are currently being researched. According to some study, EMFs may have an impact on cells by changing their electrical and metabolic processes. EMFs can also lead to oxidative stress, a condition in which the body's cells are unable to defend themselves against the harm that free radicals do to them. Cell damage, inflammation, and even cancer may result from this. EMFs may also interfere with the body's normal circadian cycle, which can lead to exhaustion, sleeplessness, and other health problems. Children and expectant mothers are particularly susceptible to the negative effects of EMFs. They are particularly vulnerable to environmental pollutants since young bodies are still growing. Cell phones, laptops, tablets, Bluetooth speakers, and other wireless devices are among of the main culprits when it comes to EMF exposure when it comes to electronic equipment. While the displays of laptops and tablets release EMFs, or electromagnetic radiation, which has been linked to brain malignancies, cell phones emit radiofrequency radiation. EMFs are also produced by Bluetooth speakers because of their Bluetooth connection. It is crucial to follow a few straightforward safety measures in order to reduce your exposure to EMFs. Use a headset while making phone conversations rather than holding the phone to your ear and avoid putting any electronics close to your bed. Additionally, you should try to avoid coming into contact with any high-voltage electrical wiring, such as power lines and substations. Additionally, you may lessen your exposure to EMFs by attempting to keep electrical equipment as far away from your body as you can. Holding an electronic gadget at least a few inches away from your face is crucial whenever you use one. Lastly, you need to be knowledgeable about the EMF levels in your house. EMFs are a necessary component of contemporary living, but knowing the hazards is essential to your health and safety. You may lower your exposure to EMFs and limit any potential health concerns by heeding the above suggested advice and implementing the appropriate safety measures. But there IS a way to protect yourself and your family… in fact, it’s a small piece of exclusive technology that uses negative ions to block and diffuse EMFs. Best of all, it looks classy and is a great gift. Click here to see for yourself.
By Zanthia Berkelmann April 6, 2023
I am a strong advocate for the use of supplements to enhance my health and well being, and are using them now for over twenty five years. At first I started out with just a multivitamin and gradually added other Vitamins to my daily supplement routine. In addition to providing essential vitamins and minerals, dietary supplements can also help in boosting our immune systems. Many supplements contain ingredients such as antioxidants and probiotics that can help to strengthen our immune systems, which is especially important during the winter months. Supplements can also be beneficial in helping to manage chronic diseases and conditions. For example, supplements such as fish oil and turmeric can help to reduce inflammation, which is important for managing conditions such as arthritis and asthma. Additionally, certain supplements can help to manage cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and glucose levels, helping more people to manage their chronic conditions. Finally, supplements can also help to improve our overall wellness. They can help to improve our energy levels, moods, and cognitive abilities, all of which are important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Additionally, certain supplements may also help to reduce stress and anxiety, which can be particularly beneficial during these difficult times. Overall, the use of dietary supplements can be incredibly beneficial in helping us to maintain optimal health and wellness. Supplements can provide us with the essential vitamins and minerals our bodies need, boost our immune systems, help to manage chronic diseases, and improve our overall well-being. With the current state of our food supply, the use of dietary supplements is more important than ever, and taking them regularly can be incredibly beneficial for our long-term health. With industrialization and the use of chemicals and pesticides, the soil has become increasingly depleted of many essential nutrients. This has led to a decrease in the quality of our food supply, as the fruits and vegetables grown in nutrient-poor soil are also lacking in essential vitamins and minerals. This is why the use of dietary supplements is so important in this day and age, as they can help to fill in the gaps in our diets caused by the nutrient-poor soil. The next few blogs I will share my list of supplements and their benefits.
By Zanthia Berkelmann March 27, 2023
Owning a home vegetable garden is a fantastic way to cut costs and maintain a healthy diet. You may cultivate your own fresh, wholesome vegetables by starting a garden in your backyard. By producing your own vegetables, you may not only save money but also ensure that the food you are consuming is free of pesticides and other contaminants. Also, knowing that the vegetables you are eating are organic and grown in your own might give you piece of mind. Growing your own vegetables in your backyard can be a great way to teach your children about the importance of eating healthy. Kids are often more likely to eat vegetables if they’ve grown them themselves. Plus, they will learn valuable lessons about where their food comes from and how to take care of the environment. Working in the garden can be a great way to get some fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. Gardening can also be a great way to reduce stress and can be a great way to relax after a long day. Having your own vegetable garden can also be beneficial to your mental health. Gardening can be a satisfying activity that promotes a sense of accomplishment. Gardening can also be a great way to practice mindfulness and help to reduce stress and anxiety. Growing your own vegetables is also a great way to practice patience because you will have to wait for them to grow and mature before you can harvest them. Growing your own vegetables can be an excellent way to save money. You can save money by growing your own vegetables instead of buying them at the store, and you are more likely to get a higher yield from your garden. You can even save money on water by catching rainwater and storing it in your garden. To summarize, growing your own vegetable garden in your backyard is an excellent way to save money, eat healthier, teach your children about healthy eating, get some exercise, promotes mental well-being and reduce stress. It's a great way to enjoy the outdoors while also feeling proud of your own accomplishments. Now is the ideal time to begin cultivating your own vegetables and herbs!
By Zanthia Berkelmann March 22, 2023
The long-held notion that mental health conditions like depression and anxiety are brought on by a chemical imbalance in the brain has come under scrutiny recently by scientists. According to the most recent studies, there is no evidence to support the notion that there is a chemical imbalance. Years ago, the concept of a "chemical imbalance" in the brain was put out to explain why some people have mental health problems while others do not. It was once believed that sadness and anxiety were caused by an imbalance of specific neurotransmitters, such as serotonin. New evidence, however, refutes this notion. There is no proof of a chemical imbalance among those with mental health disorders, according to recent studies. In reality, it seems that both individuals with and without mental health difficulties have neurotransmitter levels in their brains that are comparatively similar. So, the likelihood that a chemical imbalance at the root of mental health problems is low. What then is to blame if the chemical imbalance idea is not it? Researchers are currently looking into additional variables, such as genetics, environment, and lifestyle, as potential contributors to mental health problems. Instead of one single reason, it is thought that a combination of several elements may be to blame. The most recent studies may contradict ingrained ideas, but it is also bringing much-needed clarity to the root causes of mental health problems. It is believed that the new knowledge would improve therapies and management techniques for mental health problems. Generally, the most recent research on the chemical imbalance idea indicates that it is not supported by any data. It is believed that this significant advancement in our understanding of mental health would enable us to more effectively diagnose and treat mental health problems.
By Zanthia Berkelmann January 30, 2021
Being criticized never feels good. It can make you feel judged, as though you’re not good enough no matter how hard you try. Most people’s reaction to criticism is to get defensive, make excuses, or blame someone else. None of those options are especially constructive. It’s up to you how you choose to react to criticism. You can see it as a personal attack, or you can embrace it, get the positives out of it, and move on. If you feel skeptical about criticism having any benefits, here are some excellent reasons why you should embrace it. 1. Use Criticism for Personal Growth Often, criticism has more than a grain of truth in, even if it’s delivered a bit harshly. That’s partly why it makes you uncomfortable—deep down it rings true, even if you don’t want to admit it. Think of criticism as another element in your personal development toolbox, one that offers insight you might otherwise miss. If nothing else, observing and managing how you react to criticism can shine a spotlight on your triggers, your unconscious reactions, and assumptions. 2. Develop Emotional Resilience Criticism usually comes laden with emotions. You feel shamed, upset, and attacked. Learning to embrace criticism can help you become more emotionally resilient as you learn how to sit with your uncomfortable emotions instead of blindly reacting. Practicing detachment takes you to a mental place where you can use your problem-solving skills. You can listen, assess, analyze, and work out what lessons to take away from the experience. Embracing criticism can also help you step away from needing other people’s approval to feel good about yourself. Once you see criticism as potentially helpful feedback, it stops being a judgment of you as a person. 3. Improve Relationships Once you stop reacting (or over-reacting) to feedback, you allow more space for openness, honesty, and better communication. People can talk to you about problems without feeling they have to walk on eggshells. Embracing criticism makes for much better relationships as there are fewer barriers or ‘no go’ areas. You don’t want to be seen as prickly, difficult, or defensive, nor do you want to have your self-worth depend on other people’s good opinion of you. 4. Boost Self-Confidence Embracing criticism will free you from the curse of perfectionism. You can accept that making mistakes is human, and that being criticized is actually okay, even helpful. Accept that criticism is part of everyday life and you’ll be more confident, happier, and freed up to be your best you. Need help working through some stuff, click here for a Free non-obligatory 30 minute Strategy Session.
By Zanthia Berkelmann November 24, 2020
Whether you’re the CEO or a cubicle dweller, chances are you’ve had a conflict at work. But while some good-natured debate can be a good thing, sometimes these conflicts get overheated fast. Whether you’re in management or not, you’re going to need to know what to do when conflict arises. Add to that the fact that you might be called upon to work with the person with who you’ve conflicted. Suddenly knowing how to keep your cool during work conflicts becomes one of those important ‘must-have’ skills if you expect to succeed in your job. How do you do that? 1. Know when to walk away Leaving is something of an art. The last thing you want is for the other person to think you're not listening to what they have to say. But every argument reaches that point where no one is saying anything new. It’s about here that things start to get personal, and indeed uncomfortable. That is the point to take a break. But even this takes skill. Excuse yourself quietly. It's not the time for the dramatic exit. 2. Calm down Clearing your head will help you to be both calmer and more rational. Once you’ve removed yourself from the situation, then take a few minutes for yourself. Breathe deeply. Practice mindfulness or even meditation until you’re in a better place and able to be in control of yourself. Find that inner peace. 3. Get busy For some people, being emotionally wrought leads toward a need for activity. If you’re one of these people, then use this energy to get some work done. Studies have shown that people can be very productive when they’ve been worked up. Also, consider that by channeling all that emotional energy into work you’ll find that you’re able to be very focused and even more productive than usual. 4. Practice empathy It’s not always easy to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, but it does help. Realize that there might be something more going on with the other person than there appears to be on the surface. That will not only help you to calm down, but also might show you a possible solution, or at least a new way to address the other person in a way that’s respectful and more compassionate. Keep in mind that your insights might well show you that the problem is with you. In that case, it might be time to call HR into the situation or at the least to sit down with a mediator to help resolve the matter. 5. Reconcile Try apologizing. Recognize that it does take two people to get into an argument. Apologizing acknowledges the part that you’ve played in the situation and invites the other person to do the same. In the end, the best way to cool a situation is to resolve it. Having a conflict may be inevitable. How you deal with conflict says a great deal about you as a person and a great deal about you as a co-worker. Being able to keep your cool in trying situations is an invaluable skill and one well worth cultivating, especially in the work world.
By Zanthia Berkelmann October 6, 2020
We often become distracted by what life throws at us which leads to neglect our own well-being. Our days can be fast paced but seldom do we slow down to think about the importance of maintaining your wellbeing. Stress is commonplace in the modern world, simply driving to work in gridlock traffic can make you a basket case. Fortunately, you can make better choices and develop good habits to make wellness a part of your every day routine… Make a Decision and Stick to it So first off, you’ll need to make the decision to live a healthy lifestyle. This is a step that many people avoid, and they end up giving up and reverting back to their original way of everyday living. Well, wellness is a decision (As simplistic as it seems) and it’s a necessary one for all of us. How Can We Make Wellness a Habit? Habits are created by doing something over and over again until it becomes ingrained within us. It’s like we’ve rewired our brain to now automatically make certain choices without thinking. So, here’s a few ways you can make wellness a habit every single day… • Set an alarm clock. • Make healthy diet choices. • Plan an exercise routine. • Make time every day to do one thing you enjoy. • Spend more time with friends and family. If you do these things every day, in order, at the very minimum, you’ll notice overall improved wellness. We need discipline and there’s no other way to go about it. Especially in the fast-paced world we are so accustomed to. Alarm clock Setting an alarm clock to wake up early is a good way to start your day. The good thing is we know exactly why we’re waking up early… to get things done! Diet The nutritional choices we make are crucial to physical wellness. Feeding our body live foods (Vegetables, fruits, lean meats, grains etc.) will make us feel good and give us energy for the days ahead. Daily exercise Exercise has so many benefits from improving mental health to creating stronger and more capable bodies. You can prevent chronic disease like Type 2 Diabetes, Heart Disease and Osteoporosis by doing daily exercise. That’s how powerful getting the body moving really is. Enjoy life We tend to get too focused on things like work, personal issues, relationships etc. but why can’t we take the time to laugh and enjoy being in the moment? It’s so important to relieve stress by putting worry aside for a little bit each day to focus on leisure activity. We’re not meant to constantly be in fight or flight mode and having leisure time can immensely decrease stress which can accumulate and really interfere with out wellness. Have healthy relationships The relationships we develop and maintain in life are essential for wellness. Having a sense of worth often comes from being loved and appreciated by other people. Let’s face it, the reason for our existence is to coexist with others so we can come together to function as a society. Having great friends and family can really give a nice boost to our self-confidence and happiness because we’re all here to support one another. Make Wellness a Daily Habit All you have to do is make a decision to live every day in a state of wellness. If you follow the steps mentioned previously, at a very minimum, you’ll have a good start in creating healthy every day habits. Without good habits, we’ll never accomplish anything. Wellness is the determining factor in our ability to be productive and effective in every day life.
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